LET'S SPEAK ENGLISH:
Broadcast: Monday, June 26, 1939 at 9:00 PM

Fourth Talk of New Series - Spelling

I. Words agreeing in sound but with different spellings and meanings:
a) Told and Tolled
b) Son and Sun
c) Air and Heir
d) Pale, and Pail
e) Waste and Waist
f) Size and Sighs
g) Grown and Groan
h) Weight and Wait
i) Die and Dye.

II. Rules for Spelling:
a) Works ending in a consonant followed by a 'y' change the 'y' into an 'ie' in derived forms:-
Lady - Ladies
Happy - Happier - Happiest except some monosyllables; such as:
Shy - Shyly.

b) Words ending in 'ie' change the 'ie' into 'y' before the ending 'ing' :-
Lie - Lying
Die - Dying.
c) Words ending in 'ant' and 'ent' often have derivatives ending in 'ancy' and 'ency' :
Vacant - Vacancy
President - Presidency.

TRANSCRIPT: FOURTH TALK - SPELLING

I know a Palestinian child who went to school in England at the age of twelve. He started writing English without vowels too: he wrote 'come home' 'C-M H-M'. The teachers in his new school couldn't understand this at all and thought he had some rare mental disease, a sort of vowel deficiency, and ought to have a diet of special vitamins.

Now English is full of words which sound the same but which are spelled differently and have quite different meanings. For example, there's the word TOLD. Sometimes' it's spelled T-0-L-D. Then it comes from the verb 'to tell'. 'I told you that I liked you'. Then it's pleasant. But when it's spelled T-O-double L-E-D, then it's unpleasant. That word comes from the verb 'to toll', which means to ring a church bell slowly for a funeral.

There was a humourous poet called Thomas Hood who lived in England a hundred years ago. One of his poems is about the death of a man whose grave had to be dug in a churchyard. Hood wrote, "They went and told the sexton, and the sexton tolled the bell." The first told is spelled T-0-L-D and the second 'T-O-double L-E-D.

Then there's the word SON. When it's spelled S-O-N it means one of 'those long-legged creatures who always needs new shoes; who sits in the most comfortable chair; who's reading the newspaper just when you want it; and who borrows your india-rubber but never puts it back. But who would be without a son when it's spelled S-O-N I wouldn't. Nor would I be without one when it's spelled S-U-N. I love the sun, the sunshine and the summer. But in Palestine the summer's much too hot and the winter's much too cold. Somehow they never seem to be able to get the temperature right in Palestine. What a Government!

The only thing the Palestine Government gives you free of charge is air : you know, that cool, thin stuff you breathe in through your nose. Then it's spelled A-I-R and, if you don't get enough of it, you die.

In winter there's cold air: in summer hot air. But hot air in English idiom means nonsense; and to talk hot air means to talk nonsense. There's plenty of hot air in Palestine in the summer and I'm afraid there's plenty of hot air in the winter also.

That kind of air is spelled A-I-R. But there's another kind of heir that's spelled H-E-I-R. Then it means a relative who's going to inherit something from a man after his death. Men usually leave their wealth to their children. In most countries, each child inherits a share of his father's property: but in England it all goes to the eldest son. In that way, the big family estates have been handed down undivided from generation to generation. That's also one of the reasons for the strength of the British Empire: the eldest son is the sole heir and inherits all the property: the other sons have nothing and go into the army and navy and the colonial service, instead of staying at home.

So the arrival of an heir in an English family is very important and great care is taken of him. On fine days his nurse puts him in his pram in the sunshine in the garden. In other words, she takes the little son and heir to get a little sun and air.

If the baby doesn't get enough sun and air it grows up sickly and pale. That word is spelled P-A-L-E. So his parents send him to the seaside where he can dig on the sands with a spade and pail. But that's another kind of pail and is spelled P-A-I-L.

Now it's great fun being a baby, provided you're not born about eighteen years before a European war. It's not bad being a child and growing up. But when you're grown up, all you can look forward to is to grow old. You first notice you're growing old when you begin to get larger and larger round the waist. That kind of waist is spelled W-A-I-S-T. Your waist has probably got larger because you ate too many chocolates. If you buy too many chocolates you're wasting your money. This kind of waste is spelled W-A-S-T-E, and means spending money uselessly.

If you waste your money on chocolates, one day you'll begin to worry about your size, spelled S-I-Z-E. So you measure the size of your waist very carefully with a tape-measure. If your size has increased, you're full of another kind of sighs, spelled S-I-G-H-S. Do you know what a sigh is? This is how the Oxford dictionary describes it. "A sudden, prolonged, deep and more or less audible respiration following on a deep-drawn breath, especially indicating or expressing dejection, weariness, longing, pain or relief." But this is what it really sounds like (sound of sigh).

You're full of sighs because you've grown. That word's spelled G-R-O-W-N and comes from the verb to grow, which means to get bigger. And you've grown so much that all you can do is to make another kind of groan. But that kind of groan is spelled in a different way G-R-O-A-N, which means to make a complaining noise, like this (sound of groan).

You've grown such a lot round the waist and you spend so much time groaning because you've put on weight W-E-I-G-H-T. To put on weight means to become heavier. That's the end of all your happiness. You can still walk about, but you know it'll be harder and harder to get through the door the longer you wait. That kind of wait is spelled W-A-I-T and means spending your time expecting something. You just wait until you're too fat to get through the door.

I'm always very sorry for fat people. Do you know the little rhyme :

"There once was a lady of yore "The same shape behind as before :
"As no-one knew where
"To offer a chair
"She had to sit down on the floor!"

This is a very sad story, isn't it? And what is the end ? The end comes when you die. That word's spelled D-I-E. But I hope you won't die, my dear listener. That only happens when you're old and grey.

It sounds funny, but the best way not to become old and grey is to dye - your hair, I mean. But that dye is spelled D-Y-E and, if you use it, you'll look as if you were only twenty-one. So our story has a happy ending after all.

By the way, if you do have your hair waved and dyed, be careful not to make the mistakes I saw on a signboard outside a Pinglish hairdresser's where they called it 'ondulation and discolouration'. The signboard should have said 'waving and dyeing'.

Now I want to give you one or two simple rules about spelling. The first rule concerns words ending with a consonant followed by a Y, like 'lady' (L-A-D-Y). When you want to use the plural and say 'ladies', you change the Y into I-E. Not L-A-D-Y-S but L-A-D-I-E-S.

When you make a speech you always start 'Ladies and Gentlemen'. Do you know one way of knowing whether someone is a gentleman or not? Watch him drinking his tea. If it's too hot and he's not a gentleman, he'll pour it into the saucer and blow on it to cool it. But if he's a gentleman he'll fan it with his hat.

There's the same change from Y into I-E with other forms of words besides plurals. Let's take the comparative and superlative of the word 'happy' (H-A-P-P-Y). I hope you're happy: perhaps happier; or even the happiest. But you don't spell happier with a Y-E-R but with an I-E-R. And the same with happiest: not Y but I-E.

I'm usually happy when I'm in the company of a lady. I am happier when I'm with a young lady. I'm happiest with a child, especially when the child isn't shy.

SHY is a typically English word: most Englishmen are shy. And the word 'shy' is important in the English language. It's an exception to the rule about 'y' changing into 'I-E'. With 'lady', the 'y' changes into 'I-E' in the plural L-A-D-I-E-S. In 'happy', the 'y' changes into 'I-E' in 'happier' and 'happiest': But words of one syllable like 'shy' remain unchanged: so you spell 'shyly' S-H-Y-L-Y not S-H-I-E-L-Y.

The rule about 'y' changing into 'I-E' also works the other way round. Verbs ending in 'I-E' change into 'y' in the present participle. To 'die' (D-I-E) becomes 'dying' (D-Y-I-N-G) ... While to lie (L-I-E) becomes 'lying' (L-Y-I-N-G). That's what we'll all be doing if there's another European War, dying on the battlefield or lying about wounded.

It's better nowadays not to have too much imagination. That's the Englishman's greatest asset. In a war he fights magnificently with his back to the wall. It isn't always bull-dog courage: it's often because he hasn't enough imagination to realize what a terrible position he's got into.

I don't like war and fighting, and don't suppose you do either. Most ordinary people are peaceful. They aren't even attracted by fine military uniforms; like the little Jewish boy who was out for a walk with his father. They saw a regiment pass by with a general at its head, all covered with gold and medals. The father pointed to the general and said to his son, "That's what you'll become, if you don't learn your lessons".

Now I'll end this lesson by telling you something about adjectives like 'vacant', which end in A-N-T. When these words become nouns, they often change the 'ant' into 'ancy'. Thus 'vacant' becomes 'vacancy'. The name applies to words ending in E-N-T - which changes into 'ency'. For example, 'president' becomes 'presidency'.

If you die on the battlefield, your job becomes vacant: in other words there's a vacancy (A-N-C-Y).

If I should die on the battlefield, you'd have to look for a new President of the Brighter English League. In other words, there'd be a vacancy in the Presidency (E-N-C-Y).

The nearest I ever came to dying was when I made my first trip in the air. It was in a military machine and I was strapped in to my seat, with a parachute all folded up underneath me. Just before we started off, the pilot gave me a certificate to sign, saying that should an accident occur, my widow wouldn't claim any compensation from the pilot. So I nearly died - of fright.

But I have no intention of dying, so let's hope you won't need a new President soon. I should hate to leave the Brighter English League just when it's becoming so popular.

Many new members have joined in the last month. The League is so large that we're soon going to declare ourselves an independent state. Then we hope we'll be invited to join the Axis - The Anti-Pinglish Axis, I mean. So good night.